017

Date: Seventh Astral Era Year 1, 8th Sun of the 2nd Umbral Moon

Thanks to Caen, Tiergan, and their friends, I was able to find moments of clarity the night prior, and meditation allowed me to clear my mind. Once I returned to, so did my current predispositions.

These days, I am oft left in confusion. Most times, I cannot feel emotion, my mind is dull. And yet when Caen is near, I feel sadness. Frustration. He had done naught, so why is it that he makes me feel these things? I cannot understand it.

I still hunger. I crave power. But I cannot. I must not. But I am weak. These runes will be the end of me. The runes upon my chest and back are the most painful. I had considered scraping it with my bare hands and yet I know it will do naught.

I fear that things will only continue to get worse. I've nightmares nightly, and I feel as if this place of tranquility will be destroyed by my hand.