018

Date: Seventh Astral Era Year 1, 9th Sun of the 2nd Umbral Moon

Resolve. Mine resolve. How do I find it.

Augustine came to see me yesterday, wholeheartedly believing that it would create triggers. His mere presence did not, nor did the talk with him send myself into urges. I, however, lost control twice while he was near.

At times, I wish Tiergan just ended me. I had departed yesterday morn in an attempt to separate myself from the others, including Caen. On the path back to the floating city, I had lost control. Tiergan found something of his that appeared to be in cinders, which lead me to believe that I had ended Caen...

But I know I did not. I know for a fact that I did no such thing, and yet the evidence leads to my hand. It would appear that I instantly lost the trust of a friend. And yet I cannot blame him.

My resolve... I must needs find it. But how when everything around me seems to be crumbling without a moments' hesitation.